Looking Back or Looking Forward?
In Sierra Leone, 42 is the average life expectancy in years for a female and 39 for a male (World Health Organization, 2006).
I turned 42 on Tuesday, and instead of celebrating, I spent the day sick in bed. It came down to bad timing – a 5 hour row on Monday weakened my immune system, and my child brought home a bad cold. So I stayed home from work and slept, and I'm sure my cubicle neighbours are thanking me for keeping my virus at home.
What's funny about birthdays at my age is that I can't complain about feeling old. Most of my friends and coworkers toss their head with a laugh and call me a youngster. Maybe they're right. But when I look in the mirror, I see the evidence of my years. And sometimes I want to go back in time and do some things over. When I was younger I didn't give myself permission to do bold and amazing things. I was insecure and unsure of my abilities. I made a lot of mistakes. But now that I stop and really think about it, I guess I was extending myself with the capabilities and knowledge that I had at the time. I just know more now.
So, am I going to sit and pout about my fading youth, or be thankful that I still have a chance to go after some of those bold and amazing things? Right now, a blank piece of paper is laying before me, waiting for the rest of the story.
Grab a pen…
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