May 1, 2010
Back in August, I wrote a post about the road to the starting line. I was at the beginning of my journey to train for a 100 km row, and raise 40 thousand dollars to build a school that would change the lives of hundreds of children. At that time, I wrote about the things I would need to do in order to make it to the starting line on June 19.
I was wrong.
THAT blog entry was my starting line. And I've been pushing to the finish ever since.
During the past several months, I've stumbled a few times – even fell flat on my face. But the following things happened when I fell:
- I got back up and kept going
- People extended their hands and helped me get back on my feet
- Many more people shouted words of encouragement from the sidelines
- I learned something from falling
So the journey has been good, including the mistakes and the bruises. Maybe even because of them.
There are 49 days left.
I'm eating more consciously, and drinking more water.
I took a bit of a break last week – other than the 60 km row last Monday (where I knocked 10 minutes off my time) – I allowed myself time off the machine. I even went out with girlfriends for a much needed injection of laughs combined with nachos and beer.
Tomorrow I will write the rest of a training plan to take me to June 19. A while ago I had abandoned a structured plan for my workouts as I kept changing the schedule every week. Now it's time to bring the structure back for the final 7 weeks.
I choose to be back in control. I choose to be strong.
In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.
– Eleanor Roosevelt
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April 25, 2010
I think it's important to share with you some of what I've been experiencing lately. As a regular person who has a job and a family, it's been a long haul – this initiative I've undertaken has been controlling me for 9 months now. My journey has been to train for a 100 km row while raising a huge amount of money, with no experience doing either of these things. I knew when I started this would be difficult.
And lately it's getting even harder. But much of it is my own fault.
Gradually over the past few months, I've been fading. I find myself often losing focus until something smacks me out of the haze I'm in. Here are some of my recent observations:
- I have been careless with what I eat, with too many processed carbs and sugar.
- The processed carbs and sugar cause fatigue and contribute to mood swings, but I still eat the crap.
- I have been eating too much, and have actually gained 5 lbs since February.
- I'm not drinking enough water, but have been really working on this.
- I'm tired most of the time (poor eating and dehydration contribute to this)
- My training has been inconsistent. Although my longer rows are still going as planned, my shorter sessions are not, and they are important too. As a result, my rows have been more painful.
- I haven't been stretching like I should, which increases the pain I get when I row (I have chronic piriformis syndrome)
- I've been going in circles regarding what to do next for the June 19 event. I'm not following through on things that have to be done – I feel too tired and I've been procrastinating. This causes more stress which puts me in circles…rinse and repeat.
- I worry more and feel less positive about the outcome of this.
- I am not enjoying the journey so much anymore, and am really looking forward to it ending.
- I blog less.
- I'm not standing in a position of power. I'm coping.
Becoming aware of these things is good. Accepting responsibility for many of these things is better. There are some items on this list that I can change, and I still have time. I need to be strong.
Today I did 10 km. Tomorrow I will do another 60 km. Bring it on.
